St Valentine's (Massacre)

Valentine's is always a bittersweet day for me. I always hated it until I met my husband. Then it became our special day, the day I became his. It's an anniversary of sorts. I never celebrated it until we met. I always thought it was a holiday made up by card companies to squeeze out the last of the winter holiday cheer. I still have the card: "I know you hate today but I'm the far off boyfriend so I can do whatever I want." A huge, beautiful bouquet of roses and my favorites, stargazer lilies with an adorable snuggly teddy bear. He had gone back to Iraq the day before and was upset he couldn't spend the day with me. Last year, beautiful long stemmed red roses. The only Valentine's we ever spent in the same place. This year I sit looking at the divorce papers, full of bitter disappointment, wondering how something so wonderful became something so sour. It's been a hard year, peppered with pain and loss. No matter how I tried everything slipped thru my fingers like sand. Now Valentine's is a whisper of what it was, and back to being another manufactured holiday like it was before he came into my life. I do not like failure, I don't believe in divorce, but it's out of my hands. All I can do now is hold on to the few and far between happy memories and do my best to move on with my life.