So, today I got this bug up my ass to start a blog. I've always wanted to blog but my mom kinda internet stalks me then yells at me because "people read that stuff!!!" Whatever. I'm a grown ass woman. Kinda. Anyway, I decide that I'm gonna do it. And I can just picture the face my husband will make when I tell him...
Anyway, now I have this blog thingie because I had a hilarious conversation with my husband this morning and realized this kind of hilarious shit goes thru my head all day. It would be a disgrace to humanity if I kept it all to myself. The Hubby would probably disagree with me but since he's overseas I can do whatever I want :p. Ok, not really. But he'll probably never take the time to actually sit and read it anyway so it doesn't matter. Right? Plus I'm currently not working and I don't have a lot of better things to do with my time. I'm a big girl. Shut up. I should probably explain what this hilarious conversation was even tho it makes me look like that one beauty pageant chick that needs a map. Apparently so do I.
Me: If you ever succeed in making me move to Alaska can I have a penguin?
The Hubby: Sure. The polar bears might try to eat it tho
Me: Yeah, there's no polar bears in Alaska. (Yeah, that's how much of a genius I am. Even sadder is I've been thru school to learn about animals and am a huge rights activist)
I forget what he actually said at that point but it was something along the lines of "How much black-tar heroin did you have for breakfast?"
Me: They live in the South Pole with the penguins!!!!
The Hubby: Penguins don't live in the South Pole either
Me: WTF??????
Turns out, polar bears and penguins live in the North Pole. Dude! Polar bears and penguins live with SANTA????? Holy shit!!
Also, he apparently doesn't think toucans and penguins look anything alike. They're both birds!! Black and white birds!!! With huge bodies and tiny little heads!!! I would include pictures to help support my statement but I can't figure out how to get them in proper sequence on this fascist website so just use your imagination. At any rate, I'm right. I don't care if one is an arctic bird and the other is a tropical bird. Shut up. Anyway I'm gonna go make pancakes for dinner. Because they're delicious and I can. I swear I'm a big girl.
**UPDATE**
So apparently The Hubby did read the blog and pointed out some errors.
Error #1: Penguins do not live in the North Pole with polar bears and Santa. And he apparently never said they did(whatever) They live in the South Pole and New Zealand.
Error #2: I am the idiot. He is not. I apparently inadvertently made him look idiotic by association. I'm sorry (Ok, not really. He knew what he was getting into when he married me) Which brings us to-
Error #3: He married me. On purpose. Knowing full well what kind of jackass I am. So there.
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