Why I've Been AWOL (Or "Hi Morphine, I'll have summore)

So, I started this in June intending for it to be my creative comedic outlet of all the random ridiculousness that runs thru my blonde head 24/7. So far, I have failed. Miserably. I have good excuses tho!! Been to the ER twice, had approximately 3 bouts of food poisoning and a migraine since July. Yay!!

First ER trip was due to the incision from my last surgery opening up and causing all of my internal organs(including my blood) to become infected. Yay!!!

Second ER trip was just the other day due to fainting from food poisoning. Apparently when your body tells you to put the fucking milk down and sit, you really should put the fucking milk down and sit. NOT try to put it back in the fridge. Because you will lose consciousness and fall down and hurt your arm and hit your head. In that order. But then hot firemen will come into your apartment and fawn over you and ask you where it hurts and not laugh when they ask you your full name and you say "Seriously?" because they don't understand that you have approximately 6 names and rattling them off like that isn't as easy as they think. Then you explain and they look at you like you're a madwoman. Unless they were in the first place and you just didn't realize til then. Meanwhile they're putting stickers all over your chest and you're like "Hi! I'm married!" and they're like ".... we are too. This is an EKG..." So then they think you seriously hit your head and load you into the back of the meat wagon and on with the show. But I digress....

I've been a little busy. And my vision is going. Damn migraines.... At least they're gonna give me free Botox to try and fix it!! Only 31 injection sites across your face, skull and neck. I'm gonna get my hair cut with Bettie Page bangs again. Eff that. I like my forehead wrinkles. They're a part of me!!! I don't wanna look like Debbie Harry!!

So anyway, I'll try to be a little more active here, not that anyone in particular really follows this, at least that I know of. Hey!! If you're stalking me, be polite and leave a comment. Thank you :)